i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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