You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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