I need help removing her.
barbara walters just said penis...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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