I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
