I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Be still, my beating vagina.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
3 2 1 whiskey
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
