You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
