There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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