Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize