Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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