Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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