Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
