I just cut my nipple shaving
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize