The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
