Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
