So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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