The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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