This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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