I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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