its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
