By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
