i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
