So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
