i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
