its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Are we still banned from the library?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
