Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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