They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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