dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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