bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
His nipple licking is glorious
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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