I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
