that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
