sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
