i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize