The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
