Whod you bang
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
