the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
