She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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