I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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