Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
