is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Randomize
