my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
