I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize