They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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