Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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