I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
