Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
