So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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