Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
