At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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