rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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