you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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