u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
