He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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