that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I have tasted many bathrooms
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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