Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
