She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
