It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
