I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I have post one night stand depression
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
