I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize