I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
