Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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