After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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