we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
