So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
